Theory of Confusing

What about the title? yes it's a dedication for my beloved TOC course. Basically there are lost of similarities between this course and several courses I took in my bachelor. But somehow this course looks so tough. I must read over and over again to understand the materials and asked for friend's help to solve questions.
And the mid-term exam of this course took place last wednesday. How was it? It's great, in a bad sense :P The questions are unbelievably difficult. Even a friend of mine who usually can do all TOC questions can't finish it. The result? Hopefully it will deceptively good :D
I even don't know why they put this course in my programme :D

First Impressions

Many of my friends wrote about their experiences now I would like to tell about mine. Well, the impressions about this place physically is quite good. Nice scenery, lovely room, nice friends. Although I suffer for the cold here because there are no embedded heating system in my room and the policy of this housing says that there are no heating system allowed here, overall this place is fine.
The other impression I got is related to the course. I only have one word to describe. They are horrible. See I even describe it in 3 words instead of one. I have to take extra course because some difference between my bachelor degree and their bachelor degree. I can't understand most of the courses although I came from the same background. This unclear evaluation makes us (me and my colleagues) so stressful.
Another impression is about the programme itself. Different from other programmes which already gave their students their rights (money, insurance, etc). My programme totally uncertain in almost everything. I haven't got my insurance card, I haven't received scholarship payment and the most difficult question to answer is "Why they put me in here with these horrible courses while I didn't ask to be here?"
Finally, I realized there'll be no ending in complaining. So I just have to deal with those courses and those professors whether it will result in good or bad. I have to do my best. Failure is postponed success, right. The good news is I'm not going to do my project and thesis in here so I just have to hang on for the next 9 months. Wish me luck.

When East Meets West in a City Where North Meets South

It's been a while since my last post. All of those preparations and expensive internet access halt me for a while. Now here I am stranded in the middle of nowhere. Okay this post will be dedicated to my journey and my first experience living abroad.
It was my first experience traveling by plane. I arrived at Cengkareng airport in the afternoon. After fasting break I entered the passenger-only area at the airport. Kind of nervous at the time coz it's my firt time traveling abroad, first time traveling by airplane and I was gonna do it alone. The flight I took was Jakarta-Dubai and Dubai-Munich. But everything ended up perfectly.
On my flight to Dubai I got companion from two friends who were going to hamburg. It was nice though. We wait our next flight at Dubai International Airport. Unfortunately we had to separate there. I have to take flight to Munich.
Once arrived at Munich I thought I would experience some troubles since my visa is Italian visa although it's Schengen Visa. The immigration in Dubai questioned me about my purpose and why I landed in Munich instead of Italian area. But the immigration officer at Munich Airport is far more friendly compare to Dubai or Jakarta officers. Thank God I was allowed and my baggage was arrived on time.
After passport control and taking baggage I look for S-Bahn to take me to the Munich train station (Munich Hauptbahnhof). I found the sign and it took me to the subway below airport. When I arrived there I saw no machines or counters indicating ticket selling point. I asked a man and he told me to go upstairs, there I can find the ticket counter. The ticket cost me around 8 euros. I took S1 from the airport. One thing surprised me, there's no ticket checking whether before entering, during the journey nor after arrived at the destination. Although I caught a message board in S-Bahn declaring penalty for those who ride the transportation without valid ticket.
Arriving at Munich train station is more confusing. I took wrong direction and I went downstairs instead of upstairs. Luckily an old man showed me direction. When I went upstairs to the train platforms cold air struck me. I thought it was air conditioner but it was the air temperature at Munich itself. Very cold, for Indonesian :P Waiting train is not so long and then it took me to my final destination, Bolzano/Bozen.
4 hours by train from Munich to Bolzano. It was beautiful when entering alps mountain. it has green and white look. I got at Bolzano train station and look around for friends but can't find them so I decided to walk to the Rainerum, the name of a dormitory. Don Gregorio opened the door for me since I don't have key to enter it. Don Paolo took me to my room and I was amazed. This is two times bigger than my old room in Bandung. Nice place.
Bolzano is a small town. But a beautiful one. Yesterday Me and a friend went to the mountain for weinstrasse or walking in vineyard. Nice scenery. But I have to do my best in the next one year to pass all the course here.

Home Activities

It’s been a week since I got to my hometown. Luckily right now is in windy season so it’s not as hot as my few last visits. Not many changes in my hometown. One thing that concern me is the Brantas River. It’s getting shallower each day. We can see several islands emerged in that river. May be in the next several years the river would totally dry up. I remember when I was a kid me and my friends walk across that river carefully because there are several part that are still deep. Those islands didn’t exist that time so crossing the river would takes some time because it was so wide.

My activities here is still related to my departure. Going to see the doctor asking for medical certificate, visiting my relatives because I won’t be able to visit them in lebaran day, nyekar (I don’t know the exact translation for this word) in the cemetery for the same reason as visiting my relatives, packing and learning how to cook. Ow one more thing, I also played with my nephew. My cute 3 months old nephew :D Seeing he smiled while holding my fingers was simply melted my heart. May be I’m a family man after all.

The best thing is I’m at home in the beginning of Ramadan. Moment I haven’t been experienced for the last 6 years. Fasting together during the day and Tarawih pray during the night. Nashukashi na. The masjid near my house where I use to pray Tarawih doesn’t change much. There are several changes like additional fans so it would able to reach entire section of the masjid. It’s lot cooler in the masjid now. One thing that still hasn’t changed is the kids. I thought kids in my neighborhood are all grew up and left this neighborhood. But I still can find kids in masjid during tarawih. Like most kids do they became noisy during tarawih especially during the sermon. Having them around is quite annoying but remembering back then I was just like them, or may be worse :D When I was a kid me and my friends also did what they do during sermon. I remember the Imam and several male jemaah told us to be quite and stared at us with angry looks. Unfortunately, I can’t find my old partner in crimes so we can’t commit the same crime now :D

I'm learning several cooking skills from my mom. Due to differences in the ingredients I’m going to find abroad, so I am just growing my courage to cook and my guts to eat whatever come up as the result of my cooking. Hopefully my skill will improve after condition there force it to.

Most of my EM friends are already in Europe by now. They’re spending their beginning of Ramadan there. Knowing that I’ll join them shortly makes me feel this mixed feeling. Exciting, sad, afraid and nervous. One thing for sure there’s no turning back now.

P.S. I wonder, why do all characters in The Simpsons only have four fingers in each of their hands?

Two Farewells in A Row

Last Sunday there were two farewells took place. First farewell was Bang Ipan's and his wife. They moved to a new house they bought last year. This farewell started very early. I woke up because I heard noises outside my room. I look outside and I saw Bang Ipan already started moving his boxes. So we (me and my friends) helped him moving his stuffs to pick up cars waiting outside the alley.
There was one thing lil bit funny happened that morning. Coincidentally, one of my neighbor held marriage ceremony right in front of our house. So there were two different looks that morning. One look was in the marriage where all the people in it were well-dressed and the other look was our side where we're all looked sweaty and dirty :D When the groom met the bride we had to stop our moving activity to honor this couple meeting procession. We could get bad luck, like that procession won't happen to us, if we ignored it :))
After all bang Ipan's stuffs were loaded on pick-up cars we moved to his new house. His wife said their house was ready 100% except for it's road access. I didn't take this seriously until I got there. She's right! The only available road wasn't in front of the house but about 10 metres above the house. Walking down to the house is quite difficult especially if we have to carry those stuffs. Finally we found a way to transfer those stuffs tot he house by making human chain (indonesian: estafet) and pass those stuffs among us till they reach the nearest man to the house. Finally those stuffs are inside his house. It was fun even though it was hot. The house resided in a hill with Bandung view just outside it's door. I guess this is why he picked the house. So it's a farewell for Bang Ipan and his wife. He left the house he's been living for about 9 years with us. Is it really time for us (the elders) to leave this house. My time is less than a week now :(
Second farewell was mine and with my friends from the place I worked (or hang out) :P Even there's no official statement but I consider it as my farewell :D We held this farewell las Sunday because it's the only time we could gather again. My friend came all way from Palembang so he can teach a training class and we can make this farewell by taking picture all of us together. So as we plan we went to photo studio and took pictures six of us. And then we went to a steak house for dinner. It was fun. My friend forgot to write my order so I got my order late. We talk about lots thing from trainings, projects even my romance life. The last part came up because one of my friend wanted me to join his family by dating with his sister :D My others friend even suggested me to marry my girlfriend before I leave. Definitely it was a very nice evening. I realized that it could be our last time together. I'll be busy with my preparations and they'll be busy doing what they usually do. Finally, internet would be our media to intermingle.
Everything has it's own path. We took our own and hoping it will be the best path for us. Although we're not walking on the same road again we always share same memories that we were walking the same road. I won't forget walking down ciumbeluit street at midnight almost every night, having meal at 3 AM, late-night coding, spending all days in the lab, and doing lots of wacky things :)

itsudatte wakare wa omoi yori mo sakini kuru no
Sayonara mata itsuka aimasho.....
Sayonara mata doko ka dete.....
dakara watashi mo konnani tooku ni kichatteru kedo makoto ni iu ne

A Glimpse of Light After 2 Years of Darkness

Today I got a phone call from a friend to help him moving computers from campus to his friend's car. I know his friend too his name's, let's say Mr. A. He's an investor in our project. The never ending project. The project seems to face a dead end. When my friend called I thought Mr. A was angry because we didn't finish the project as he expected. But it turned out that I was wrong. He's a kind man and also optimistic :D
He knew I'm going to leave and he's still very optimistic about this project. In the end my friend told me not to close my bank account here because money will be flowing in it :D I've heard those words. It's a nice word indeed. It's been more than 2 years and still it's always nice to hear those words. It's the most complicated, energy-consuming and longest project I've ever worked on. Hopefully this light would brighten my future and all my hardworks will be paid up.

Love Means No Need to Apologize

I just finished reading a novel "Love Story" by Erich Segal. It's an old novel. I found it among my friend's books collection. He and my other friend told me that this novel was legendary. They even made a movie and a song based on this novel. Too bad I haven't seen the movie nor heard the song. Like Reading Light said don't judge the book by its movie. So reading the book should be much more fun.
After I finished reading the novel it reminded me about one of Japanese movie "Sekai no Chuusin de Ai wo Sakebu". Although it's not exactly the same but I can feel some resemblances. Both of the story ended up with females death by leukemia. The title of this post was a sentenced said by Jennifer Cavilleri when Oliver Barret apologized for what he said before. This sentence also used by Oliver Barret to end the novel and cried in his father's arm right after Jennifer passed away. I didn't know for sure whether Japanese made that movie based on this novel or not. This novel came up first and it's a very popular novel. Sold over 21 millions books worldwide. But that doesn't mean the Japanese copied it. Well even they did I'm not gonna judge it.
Love Story is a story about a couple. Two university students got married and lived a good life until that moment came. This what makes Love Story is different from Sekai no Chuusin de AI wo Sakebu besides it's background. Sekai no Chuusin is about high school students. Their love would be more like a fling. Surprisingly in Sekai no Chuusin the man is always obsessed with the girl years after her death.
I wonder are there any such love? I've been in love. I experienced sadness too but it didn't take years to forget that sadness and find a new one :D May be because I'm not mature enough but I think there's a positive benefit with that. So I won't feel so down in such a long period. This is very important ability too :D

Signal Survey on Highland

Last night me and my friend went to a housing about 500 meters north our house for signal survey. It's a housing with 25 rooms in it, quite big huh, so it would be a potential client for us. So we went there and brought several of our wireless equipment like access points and bi-directional antenna. My friend said earlier that he already went there and it's in line of sight so I thought it won't be much problem.
The problem started when we entered the house. I turned out that my friend only predict the line of sight spot in front of the house. The house was totally surrounded with tall buildings. So it would need a lot of effort to make it work there. We put our antenna on a wood and climbed the roof to search for signal. But still we can't get our signal. We tried D-Link and Senao access point and no signal. It was pretty creepy up there notice that there's a pretty deep slope next to that house. I guess this is because I'm afraid of heights :p
After no-result-roof climbing we went to the front of the house hoping we could get better receiving. I held the antenna and point it to our transmitter and, voila, our signal was detected. For a short time and we lost it again :D We changed our position again and this time climb the alfamart's roof. But still no signal detected. Too many barrier between our antenna and our transmitter.
Finally we gave up that night because of those trees and tall buildings. They said they'll consider about buying a pipe to reach higher place. The house is resides on a hill and it's in highland while our transmitter is in lower land. Well I guess even a high school student know that transmitter should be put on highland not the receiver. Lesson emphasized is "Put your receiver high and put your transmitter higher".

Last Days in a Place I Called Home for The Last 6 Years

I remember it just like it happened yesterday. My first step in Bandung, my first step in a place I called home. It was pretty scary at the time. I was expecting it would be more less like my house in my hometown. It turned out that i was wrong. The entrance was and still is a narrow alley right next to a big house which I thought it was the place.
Honestly it was shocking look instead of an awe look. Awe look was when I stared at ITB campus. It was impressive at the first look. But for this house there was no awe look at all. The first thing I thought after I arrived was to get home as soon as possible. I could manage my feeling by visiting campus frequently and stare at those buildings and just wandering around campus.
Amazing, After six years I feel I'm gonna miss this house more than I'm gonna miss campus. Perhaps all of those disappointments make me less missing campus. But I definitely gonna miss several people in it. My kamerads. I'll talk about this guys next time.
Even I only rent a room in this place but I felt more like home. I only spent not more than 2 weeks a year at my parent's and I spent the rest of the year here. Lots of things happened. Remembering those things makes me smile. All those laughs, all those suffers, all those days, all those nights, all of those bad times, all of those good times, all of those guys :) Remembering that I'm gonna leave this place behind makes me sad. But I'll sad even more if I don't take this chance. Sooner or later this moment will come.
I've seen lots of people come and go in this house. I call this home "Home of Gandokers Brotherhood" :D They all scattered across the country. It was nice being with them. It was nice spending time with them. Somehow I believe it's not a coincidence for us to gather at this house. Share happiness and sadness :) It has been a pleasure and honor to me living with u guys. Tanoshikata desu. Sayonara...

Don't ask how much money I get from my current job

Few weeks ago one of my friend asked me about how much leaving money I'm going to receive when I resign. She complained her leaving money wasn't as big as she expected. She complained other things to. All financial-related problems. Her confession makes me think 'Do I have enough money to support in the next months?'. Compare to her I have lower salary than hers. Way too lower. Not forget to mention it's not monthly salary. So it's like temporary job. Wait a minute. It is a temporary job :D See I resigned now.
So back to my question.Right now, my financial condition is under mercy of an institution. Institution which I've been served for years. Institution I hate most right now. They kept my salary for 3 months without any notice when I'm gonna get the money. Ow one notice for sure. They'll cut my salary for taxes. Come on, I know exactly taxes don't apply for salary under 25 millions rupiahs per month. And the money I'm gonna get won't event reach 1.5 millions rupiahs.
Well, there's nothing I can do about this. Even a senior lecturer of this institution can do nothing. The only thing I can do is get out of there as soon as possible to avoid further damage. I hope I still have enough resources to live the next few months.

D-Link DWL-2100 Access Point

This post is related to my previous post about my internet business. We got a new customer. It's just across the street but it could mean a lot. Our new customer is Reading Light (RL). It's a nice and cozy place. There you can read lots of nice books and magazines.
Enough about Reading Light. They want to be connected to internet through our network. Reading Light belongs to a foreigner so this would be a great opportunity to increase our income. We've done a lot things for RL. Our signal couldn't reach there so we must put our access point to a higher place. This put serious effort too. After access point was set and our signal could reach RL there's another request. They want to connect to our network using their own access point. It's D-Link DWL-2100 access point.
We have some experience with D-Link access point and we thought it won't be a tough job. It turned out that we were wrong. This kind of access point is difficult to handle. It can't play role as repeater, it must restart before connecting to another PC and it has quite different administration tool in a matter of semantic meanings. Several options act differently than same options in other access point we had before. It takes two PCs and two laptops to find out the real characteristics of this access point. We would like to try hack it's firmware but since it's not ours, RL could get serious problem regarding it's warranty. So we decided to go with the old firmware.
I must reset this access point several times to make sure that the things we found were it's origin behavior. This is very important so we can use this access point immediately at RL. I'll go to RL again this morning to install this access point. Hopefully it would work perfectly. We've done so much for this customer and we won't fail.

Scattered across the globe

It's around 1 AM when I wrote this post. I read one of my friend's blog and found out that he, there's no explicit statement but it's got to be him, gets scholarship to Japan. Omedeto gozaimasu. Yesterday I got a news that one of my friend also got scholarship to Siena, Italy. I can only say "Wow, whatta year". So many of us are going or already abroad. Based on the story of older classes I knew this would happen someday. Our classmates would scattered all over the world to find our own life. Amazing isn't it? Two years ago they were sit right next to you and now they sit thousands of kilometers a part from you.
One of the older class told me that the chance to go abroad is not as big as the old days especially since the 911 incident. But the statistics is quite impressive even though it took place after 911. For instance in 2001 class there are or there will be 1 in Korea, 1 in Germany, 2 in Japan, 1 in Australia, 2 in Italy, 1 in UK, 1 in Netherland, 1 in Abu Dhabi, 2 in Singapore, 1 in Malaysia and 1 in US. Still there are possibilities this number would increase years to come.
What does it feel out there? I've never experienced it though. Based on stories I've heard is not as glamour as it looks. Hardworks, discrimination and homesick color life out there. So why bother if we can live a prosperous life here? If we ask those people who are going or already abroad various answer will be achieved. I asked some and some answers came out. One(s) want just the experience, one(s) want to go after the knowledge offered, one(s) want to expand his/her vision, one(s) want to settle out there. Well we are all grown up by now. Decisions are made in full consciousness and responsibility. It's all matter of choice. Sometimes or most of the time one's decision won't fit for another. So no matter where you are, no matter what road you're going to take it's your life. Make the best in it.

The Simpsons Freak

This is an old cartoon show. First time I watched when I was at 3rd or 4th grade elementary school and I always like it since then. I can sit tight and watch episodes of The Simpsons in a day. My friend told me that The Simpsons creator also created another cartoon called Futurama. He said Futurama is like The Simpsons. Too bad I never watch it so I can't say anything about this cartoon.
The Simpsons rocks. It educates in a different kind of way. And the most important is it's funny. The education part of The Simpsons is not on the behaviours or manners of its characters. Trust me if there's a town in this world like Springfield the earth will turn upside down. If you're still learning English please don't imitate those words spoken by the characters in The Simpsons unless you're intend to increase your bad words vocabulary. So what is it really that this cartoon teach? The education part could vary among people. For me the education part lies in the dialogs. The characters reflex to answer a question with funny answers plus backed up with some funny scenes make this 2D cartoon lovable.

Rest in peace, lil baby

I heard that shocking news just now. My sister's baby died right after the delivery. So sad. He was suppose to be my second nephew this year after Alka. But apparently Allah choose a better life for him. He relieve him from this miserable world. I should be happy for him coz he's in better place now. But still, this selfish feeling to have him in this world makes me sad.
Sometimes I wonder about mistery of life. Why does some have to die? Why does someone have to live? Why does someone get so lucky and why does someone has such a bad luck?
Ahh nevermind that's why we call it life, right? So I hope you find a peaceful life my dear nephew. Rest in peace lil baby. Amiien.

It's just determining someone's gender based on name, how hard could it be?

Determining someone's gender based on name won't be a difficult task if you know the name pattern. This task can be difficult to accomplish when you're not familiar with the name pattern. Since I'm Indonesian heavily influenced with American and Muslims influence. Indonesian names or British or American or Islamic names would be familiar for me. So I can determine the gender easily. But when it comes determining chinese or thai or vietnamese name I found it quite difficult.
I just made two mistake. First mistake I thought a thai girl as a guy and second mistake I did the same thing to pakistani girl. Thank God they're not angry. Well at least the thai girl didn't. The pakistani girl didn't know yet because I haven't made any contact yet. Thanks to shailendra for telling her gender. I think because India and Pakistan have the same root made him knows the pakistani name pattern just like indonesia and malaysia.
Since Indonesia has hundreds of tribes and almost each tribe has their own language and could be they have their own name pattern. The same bias could exist even when you have to determine gender based on other tribe's name pattern. For example Endang in Javanese is considered as a female name but in Sundanese is considered as a male name with a different pronunciation. I had experienced this difficulty when I have to write a letter for a person named Endang. Since I'm in bandung which is the capitol city for Sundanese I can't determine what title I should wrote Mr. or Mrs. Although Bandung is capitol city for Sundanese there're lots of Javanese here. I'm a Javanese too and living here in Bandung.
Next time I have to be careful in determining someone's gender based on name especially if I don't familiar with the name pattern.

Playing the same songs or movies over and over

I thinks it's some kind of bad habit of mine. Playing and listening the same songs over and over again till I get bored of it. When I like a song I tend to play it over and over again till I don't like it any longer or I get bored. I just have to get very acquainted with the song. Understand the lyric and know how to sing it with this terrible voice of mine :D
This happens not only for songs but also movies. I tend to play movies I like over and over again till I really understand the movie, every scene, every dialog and know how to apply those dialogs in daily conversation. I remembered when I was second year student, there was a local romance movie called Ada Apa Dengan Cinta. My housing friends and I played this movie over and over. It was like three times a day we watched this movie. One of my friend even could tell the running scene by listening to it's background music. While other friend even imitate the dance of Dian Sastro's and her friends in that movie and really dance when it came to that part. Truth be told we all boys. Have you ever seen boys who crazy about romance movie. Yeap we were those boys :D Thank goodness we through that time safely and ended up straight. Can't imagine if we were swerved.
Playing movies and songs over and over again is not a crime. In fact it could help us to increase our vocabulary. Well at least it helped me. However my next room friend is not that kind of type. He doesn't like to hear the same music or movie more than once. He complained several times. He asked me to changed the music and asked how come I can't get bored listening the same music everyday. Even I got complained I still like doing my bad habit :P But now to avoid further complaints I used headphone so the sound wouldn't broadcast in entire house. This brought new problem too. I can't use headphone for a long period because it hurts my ears. Hmm, troublesome situation.

Internet Business

First step in this business would be dreaming unlimited internet access right in your own room. It was an alluring image. When I was at my first year, I visited local internet cafe a lot. May be this addiction already started when I was still in high school and got worse when I was at college. After I entered my second I started to use internet access in department's labs. I t was more fun than visiting internet cafe. By paying five thousands rupiahs I can get internet access for a whole month. During my third and fourth my friend taught me how to beat the system. The campus internet billing system. It means that I could have unlimited internet access without paying. This was even better.
After I graduated this beating billing system technique was no longer applicable. Although it was still applicable I have to seek another improvement in this internet access area. Let's say that accessing internet from campus is no longer challenging since although I couldn't apply previous beating system technique, I had been provided unlimited internet access by the lab. So why bother beating the system if the system itself is willing to provide a free access?
The next challenging step was providing internet access right in my very own room. This way I can stay connected anytime I want and I don't have to go to campus for internet access. So the project began. Accompanied by a friend who also has the same vision and same dream, we apply for personal internet access at local internet provider. First days was tough. We paid over a million and the day those equipments installed we got no connection and had to wait for another days. What a troublesome days.
After internet connection established we started to share the connection among our friends. We bought various networking stuffs from cables to router, from access point to antenna. Hopefully this could remain.

Dreamchaser Community

Reading Imam's blog about IF01 aggregator makes me want to post again. This time I'd like to highlight a community inside IF01. I call this community "The Dreamchaser Community", I just made up this name :D This community is shadow community. The only thing that bounds it's members is a dream. Maybe even the member of this community doesn't realize about this bound but they seemed look after each other to maintain this bound. Kinda complicated, huh.
The dream that bounds these members is to study in the next level. Getting scholarship is their goal. Although when it comes in getting scholarship they compete each other but still they inform each other when any opportunity arrives and help each other to fulfill the requirements. Perhaps this mutual helping atmosphere can be experienced in other community which it's primary goal is to get a job for better living.
I realized the existence of this community at the end of my college. Maybe it already exist long time before I realized but who knows. This community has changed from the first time I noticed it's existence. The most obvious change I noticed was composition of it's member. Back then most of them are females and now males dominate this community. I don't know for sure why this change happened. Maybe because females are tend to find a safe & steady place or maybe those new male members lately realize the promising future behind those challenges. God knows what the real reason is.
Most of this community's members are willing to work in Bandung so they can get news for opportunities to carry out their mission and to ease their paper & letter administration. These guys are racing against time. They totally realize that they have time limit. They can't keep trying for the rest of their life at this current condition. If they give up at old age it would suffer them even worse because they lost their time to apply a decent & promising job. Even people who decide to become entrepreneur would lost precious time. Win-win solution would be chasing dream and preparing for the worst if that dream doesn't come true, simultaneously. For some this is tough. So do you part of this community?

Things I've learned

Have I learned anything? If the time measurement starts about 5 years ago till today, the answer would be yes. I learned a lot. Beside those life experiences things I learned something which is obviously I should learn because it was my major. That's information technology.
Few days ago one of my friends who work in finance told me that I know nothing, I haven't see anything, I haven't learn anything, I haven't experiences anything compare to her. Sounds so cruel. When I hear it or perhaps read it at the first time, I didn't take it personal. I thought maybe she was in bad mood. But today when I remembered about what she said it made me little bit angry.
Maybe until today my work is still only in IT and my environment may be still in the campus. Unlike her who not only learned about IT, finance, banking and maybe other knowledge that I don't know. Maybe she has traveled all over the country. But that doesn't give her right to judge me that I don't know any sh*t. One thing for sure she doesn't know me.
Life has brought me lots of knowledge. Although I only focusing on IT and hanging on the campus but it gave me lots of knowledge as well. I learned technology stuffs from programming to banking treasury, from Unix system to smart card. I learned non-technology stuffs either from struggling to giving up, from teaching to counter-black campaign. Yes the last knowledge I mentioned is improving because of several things are happening in the center where usually I hang out. So if you are a person who has a job in the core business of a big company which doesn't match your education background, making a big money, excellent career path and always concern about appearance, do you still think that anyone who still resist on campus focusing in one area that he/she like most doesn't know any sh*t?

Activities Week

For this entire week I have activities from sunday to sunday. Unlike most of my days, which I spent most of the time in front of computers, this week I spent most of time doing outdoor activities. The reason why I spent most of my time doing indoor activities was because outdoor activities are big-money-consuming activities. Place I visited most of those time was campus. I got bored visiting that place because I've seen it for over 5 years now. That's why when I went outside I usually didn't visit campus. Because other places are quite far from my hostel then I need transportation. Since I don't have any vehicle for transportation then obviously I have to pay for public transportation. And usually I spent more money for lunch and buying stuffs which interest me. That's why I choose indoor activities.
But this week is quite different. I spent lost of time outside. Not just wandering around but for reasons. Quite good reasons. I attended few test this week and preparing my next applications.Working on tests, medical checkup and filling applications requirement become my recent activities. Maybe this is because the next application deadline is near. Wow I really am a true deadliner. I finished most of my research proposal in a night. Beside those activities I tried to start the day by jogging. Quite healthy I guess although I only took few laps and spent most of the time talking with a friend and taking breakfast :P

Confused Englishman or Confused me?

Few days ago I received letter from University of Reading informing that I got accepted as a student there. Quite confusing, I thought they didn't put me in the student list since I told them that without scholarship it would be impossible for me to attend the course. And I wasn't in the scholarship list.
I felt reluctant to contact them because I thought, I already knew the answer. This afternoon I thought that it would be nice if I ask him whether the university can defer the offer till next year. Meanwhile I'll seek to secure my funding there. So I sent email to the postgraduate officer tell him that I'm gonna working on chevening this year however the fund won't be available till next year, if I get that lucky. He told me that he can make that kind of deferment. It was quite surprising, I thought it will be a strict rule for this kind of condition.
Then I asked him again what should I do to complete the deferment procedure. He said that sending him an email would be enough and when I heard some news from chevening I should contact him at once. This only applies for good news :D And he said again if I didn't get that good news than I should make completely new application for next year.
Doh, didn't I make myself clear enough in the first email. I told him clearly that the funds available next year and that only happens if I get lucky. Does this mean that not all europeans are smart so there'll be no different between them and us? I was right at the first place. I already knew the answer :D Well then I know one thing for sure that this one has to go as well. So bye bye Reading....

How long u gonna hold on?

Yesterday I met a senior of mine. he's an alumni originated from the same town like mine. One of my lecturer thought it was quite odd for me not knowing him. Well u can't expect me to know all of them. There's lots of us and dispersed all over Bandung.
He's going to Qatar for a new position in one of the oil company there. The salary he earned and he's gonna get in Qatar was quite alluring. A young man with 6 years experiences in oil service does make a difference. We did a long chat accompanied by one of the lecturer from IF. She is one of us too.
After lunch he told what happened after he graduated. He worked at astragraphia and then accepted at Schlumberger. He's married man with 2 children. He told me about life he was planning and the life he's willing to achieve. He asked himself few moments after graduated. How long I'm gonna live my life like this? Having a house, a car and financial safety for the family are the goals. He's right. This adventurous life has to end someday. Time is prescious at the moment. Each day could mean an opportunity.
Writing research proposal, applying for alternative job, but still working on the indefinite product will be carried more seriously. Focus on my future and try not to make mistakes.

Family's Challenge

Last week I visited a friend's daughter in a hospital. She was ill. It wasn't light disease after all. It was very sad what happened to my friend and his family. She was less than 2 months old, yet she had to carry that pain. On that moment too my other friend also told me that his son also must carry out a surgery. Whatta a life.
By looking at my friend and his wife, gave me strength and also fear at the same. Why's that? I couldn't imagine how hard this time for them. Especially at this rate of earning. I always thinking with my current condition, it will be difficult to have a family. Family needs lots resource to keep them secure. Family doesn't deserve to be put on jeopardy. I don't blame my friends who already married. In fact I admire their courage. These conditions gave me a valuable lesson to be grateful to what I have. My other friend told me that because I'm the youngest in my team, the pressure on me would be lighter that anyone. I can't disagree. He was right. But here I am still complaining and feel stressful.
What happened to my friends also gave me strength to run this life to the fullest. What happen to me right now is much lighter than what's happened to my friends. This feeling of depression has to disappear.
One faith that one day this whole thing would change. Everything would be much better than today. Rejected applications, uncertain future someday would be replaced by a much brighter day. And one last hope that when that day come I still have people I care.

The Pursuit of "The Pursuit of Happiness"

Yes the movie was released last year but due to lack of information as well as lack of willingness to sacrifice about 20.000 rupiahs made me watched this movie few days ago. My friend told me about this movie earlier but I thought I already watched the movie. But it turned out that I was wrong.
This movie, in my point of view, is great. It was very inspiring, it told me to hang in there, it gave me hopes about the promising future of hardworks. The story was about a man who had not enough money to rent a shelter for him and his son, absolutely homeless, he and his son had to move from one place to another. They often stayed at flophouse. They even slept in locked bathroom at subway station. However this man never gave up. He joined stockbroker internship, which gave him no money, and working as a sales person, who seldom sold his merchandise, at the same time. He insisted to keep his son because he made a promise that his children must know who their father was unlike him who knew his father at 28. His wife left him, His friend refused to give him financial support during those difficult moments.
The happy ending was the man got accepted as stockbroker and his life getting better since then.
The movie was based on true story of Christofer Paul Gardner, CEO and founder of Gardner Rich. I did a little research about this man and I found out that his company was awarded by former President Bill Clinton as the best investment company in USA with assets of more than 1 million USD. At the end of the movie Christofer Gardner himself made appearance. I didn't notice at the first time but when I rewinded the movie, yeap, that's got to be him.
The result of my research is little bit different. In the movie Mr. Gardner became homeless before he became a stockbroker but I read in wikipedia that he was homeless after he got promoted as a stockbroker. Many details about his past was not presented in the movie. This is quite understandable because the movie's duration won't fit to cover all his interesting life story. One more thing, Chris Gardner and his son was homeless for almost a year. Quite endurance, wasn't it?
Amazing how a homeless man that lack of money, just a money for food and transportation, and had to support a toddler could manage this far. He was only high school-graduate person. His first dream was to become a doctor but due to many obstacles he had to alter his dream. He worked as a sales person for a medical supply company where he found a very little money to support his family. In the movie this was the reason why his wife left him.
The movie taught me something that starting enterpreneurship doesn't have to be young and single. Chris Gardner found his way to do this. He was over 28 at that moment and he had a son to support. I was too influenced by those silicon valley giants.
Yes, the world belongs to creative people. Must think some way that others hasn't think of it! Let me quote words from Chris Gardner to his son. It said more less like this "Don't let anyone, including myself, say that you can't do anything. If you have a dream then protect it!".
I have a dream and it isn't like to-have-a-dream dream. A real dream. Actually it was two dreams twisted together. This twisted dream was heavily influenced by previous heroes I knew before this guy. And this dream is very hard to achieve since I got rejected several times. Does this mean I can achieve happiness like Chris Gardner if I alter my dream? Hmm happiness and money sure are difficult to separate, aren't they?

One Down

The moment was this afternoon. I opened a web site that I've long abandoned. Web site that I didn't want to open till next few weeks. But this lightning struck me right to the heart. The announcement had been made and I'm not in the list. Disappointed? The answer is absolutely yes. I'd spent time and money for this. Lots of things I'd done for this.
I realize that not everything must happen like we want it to happen. Few of my friends cheered me up that I belongs to greater thing than that. I have no choice but to believe in it. It's just that belonging to that place is what I want right now. Experiencing the climate, the view, the environment, the living and the culture had been in my mind. Maybe this is the answer for her pray. but I shouldn't blame anyone. This is what's the best for me.
Still expecting for the other two but the rejected one has the biggest chance so I prepare to accept the fact that I won't be in the list for the other two. What ever the result I get I must be prepared. Prepared for the back up plan. Another unexpected road lies ahead promising another adventure (Trying to cheer myself).

Surged like a storm

It's 4 am and I'm very tired right now but I couldn't able to sleep even for a while. Something have been surged like a storm in my mind all night long. Have you ever been a situation where you're about to do something you really want to do and you've planning to do it a long time ago, but suddenly the condition and people around you won't let you do it?
This situation is happening to me. I've been dreaming, planning, sacrificing and working for years to get this done. And when it's near the moment of truth, storm came out of nowhere. I don't wanna let it go easily. I know I have a small chance but if I have to fail then it won't because I don't give it a shot. This is the first time in my life where seeing my dream comes true would be the most painful activity. It would disappoint someone I care most in this world. Someone who are willing to die for me but won't let me do the same thing for her. She is the last living person on earth who I want to disappoint.
For couple of hours I don't know what I have to do after she said that. Do I really have to retreat? For all my life I tried so hard to make her proud of me. Every plan and every action I took always put the same goal. To see her smile upon me.
But now everything's change I have to re-evaluate what's important for me. It's quite obvious that some one has to sacrifice, someone has to give up hope. The result of deciding who has to give up would be effecting the rest of my life. Sorry for being dramatic but this might true. In this very short moment I'm expecting a miracle for a win-win solution.

Into the world of researches

Finally I resigned as an instructor at JCC. I must admit there's something I miss in teaching at JCC. The curious looks of the participants, the words I blabbered to them, the computers I used to maintain. I don't miss the people in it coz I'm still in the center not as an instructor but as a researcher. Mobile and messaging again. Sounds boring but those research topics are the only topics available for me while I'm finishing the never-ending project. Even though I'm not missing the people of JCC, I definitely gonna miss them if one, or more, of my applications gets accepted which means I must be thousands of miles apart from JCC and the people in it. I don't know why I'm thinking bout those applications now after forgetting them for weeks. I've done enough for those applications. I completed all of their requirements and I already sent them on time so there's no need to keep them in mind. just wait for the surprises.
I'm planning to finish all my researches and the never-ending project while waiting for those applications result. There are two researches I'm working on. Those are from the national education department and research & technology department. These researches make me open my previous knowledge about mobile computing and instant messaging. Although they seem quite similar there is difference between them. The first research I'm working on is about the client side while the other is about the server side.
I already have the prototype for the first research topic, the client. The challenge is to re-design the user interface so it can be more user-friendly and fits the display environment of the cell-phone by any type as many as possible. Integrating the system with the main, m-learning, system would be another challenge too. Some improvements on the engine would be required.
The second topic is to maintain a server application. The application is already provided and available in internet. Yes, it looks lots more simple than the first one but don't get it wrong this could be the most complicated research I've ever worked on. Since there's a huge possibilities to hack the engine of the application so it can handle some features like compression, file sharing, etc. Although documentation is provided but still I didn't write the code and its always painful when u have to read someone else code especially when the writer is not around you. Well for this topic I'd try to make it as simple as possible :)
The progress for the first is that I finished working on the chat room interface. It took me about 3 days to build this interface. I tried to imitate the conventional desktop instant messaging chat room interface but some constraint occurred. My friend built one of this interface, a nice one, I asked him how he built it and he answered "use the Canvas". First stage was learning and using the canvas. I did it, I made the interface but I had no idea how to operate it since several functions must be embedded on that canvas. After hours of browsing and reading I decided to drop canvas off and switch to CustomItem component. This component gives Canvas capabilities and it can be integrated into Form which means some functions that the UI must handle can be obtained from other form-based components such as TextField. The second stage was implementing the Chat room into reality and it cost me entire weekend just to build the UI and implementing it's functions. Nah, I lied, I spent most of the time watching TV and movies. What a lazy boy :D
The progress for the second is that I've downloaded the software and ready to install it in my computer. But first I have to clean my computer after it got struck by a virus two weeks ago. I'm downloading the antivirus now. While waiting the download perhaps I could write a post and if I still have time to kill I'd just watch an anime. Well posting time's up and still I have time to kill so that's all for today. see ya.

Story of a center

First of all I'd like to introduce you guys bout my new blog. Yes, I already have one in the friendster. The reason why I move to this one is because friendster's blog wouldn't allow anyone who doesn't have friendster account or someone who already has account but willingless to login to friendster to give some comments. So I hope that this blog would reach further. OK enough about that. Let the story begin.
This story began when I was at third grade. I was young, strong, rich and charming. Sorry, I lied bout the rich part :D. One of my friend told me that there'll be a center built in campus and I was offered to be one of its components. Truth be told, I was excited at that moment. However, the excitement was gone for few months. No further news about the center. Months after my friend told me I started to forget about it and thought that was just a hoax.
After no-notice months it turned out that I was wrong. The center was for real and I was called by the director about the center's establishment. The center will be called Java Competency Center (JCC). The first step of establishment is to get me and other future-instructor certified. He sent me to take courses for the certification exam. Like good student I took those courses and not forget to ditch during the courses :D There was one thing I like bout taking courses. That was the food. By taking those courses I can had free meal for two weeks. Notice that at that moment I was still a student.
After taking those courses I took the certification exam and achieved success with a minimum score. A week after the exam the D-Day of JCC establishment arrived. It was energy-consume preparation. Booking the hall, preparing the meal, contacting the talks, sending invitations, ordering toolkits, designing brochures and printing them, souvenirs and preparing the lab. At the beginning there were only two people handling this preparation me and my buddy budi. And yet, we also had to prepare for the exam I mentioned earlier. A very rush time. But helps came out of no where for the preparation. Thanks guys. Finally we made it. The JCC was established by having three instructors, I was one of them. The best, or may be the real struggle, started after the launching.
Months after the launching I felt nothing was running. JCC seemed dead. No activities at all. Late june 2005 JCC started to live. Our first training participants were from class of dikmenjur. On the first day it was frustrating, many of the participants is not familiar with Java and solaris environment. Three of the instructors had to participate on that day. There were two casualties. Two of the computers downed. I wasn't familiar with Solaris myself at the moment so we called help from Jakarta. After that I started to learn about Solaris and handling the problems occured myself.
Well long story short, we conducted lots of trainings. Most of them was for postgraduates and one class for doctoral students. Lots thing happened. We taught two classes without getting paid even till now. There were also two other classes which we had to wait for months to get paid. I had to go to Jakarta representing JCC for many events. These tasks was considered quite ambitious because usually at the difficult moments with minimum resources and short preparations. Maintaining the computers so it would be available for trainings and repair them when they got problems. Somehow I could manage all of those tasks.
Wages I got from teaching in the center was so low that if I got no other source fund I would quit right after I finish my degree. I worked on a project and thankfully I got enough payment from there.
Few months after I graduated was the tempting moment in my life. Most of my friends had jobs in jakarta. They had status, career path and excellent salary as well. Somehow I could manage through it with one faith that I'm gonna do great too. Somehow, someway.
Half year passed. Researches and training grow quite fast. The staffs number are also increased. Few men joined us. Most of them are now instructors in the center. The center looks lots more live now then one-half year ago. Incomes for the center is also increased. Somehow I think that it's time for me to go. Me and the other first instructors think the same way. We've brought the center this far. We're very exhausted. Now things are getting better. The environment is much more decent for work. Well, we'll let the new staffs work to continue this task. It's time to leave. Thank you for the opportunities, hopes and hard works for all this time. Although many of them didn't come true I still believe those hopes would come true in the short period. The firsts had done their works. Now it's time for the second generation of JCC take place. Good luck.