Monday, September 15, 2008

Honest Rainbow

If I look up now for the rainbow I saw as a boy,
There are no longer the seven colors,
Only a mist and a fog…

As time passes by, and the world around me changes,
No matter where I search for you, you’re nowhere to be found.
So I close my eyes, and open my heart…

I need to know, If I gaze up again,
will things be different this time?
Maybe if I was more honest, the fog would fade away.
So I pray, screaming that wish deep within my soul

When you lose one thing,
You gain another, don’t you?
But still, no matter how often adults confuse us,
We’ll keep looking for the right way to live our lives.

--Honest Rainbow, Surface--

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Is this that blue days feel like?

Stranded in this blue and cold continent for almost a year has brought me memories when I spent times with my family and friends back home. I have lived far away from my family for around 7 years by now. But even so I always have time to come home in every year for around 2 weeks. It was always religious activities that put my closer to my family. Fasting Ramadhan and/or celebrating Idul Fitri. I always have days during Ramadhan which I spent with my family. Not always in the end of it. Last year I only had a week during Ramadhan with them.

I dont know why I become softer. In the old days I was reluctant to come back home for celebrating Idul Fitri which was my only moment to meet and live with my family in the whole year. Calling back home was also one of the thing I was reluctant to do. I remember when I didn't call home for weeks and my mom suddenly called me in the middle of the night asking how was I doing and I felt that she was missing me so much. At that time I didn't give to much attention for it. I never pay attention for those things.

Not until now. Realizing that I'm in a country that far far away from my family makes me feel sad these days. Especially now during Ramadhan month. Hmm maybe because right now I don't have much things to do since unclarity in my programme. The quiteness in this city. I knew that there are not much population in Sweden but I never thought it would be this quite. I went to Kallinge, a city north side of Ronneby, and I only saw less than 15 people there. Note that it was in the morning around 9 AM and not in the middle of the night.
Plus since in my apartment everything is included here fridge, kitchennete, wash dishes. Everything looks more "closed". I made an ifthar with some pakistani yesterday. it was fun. Maybe because I knew them in a short of time and they use pashtun language (I found out that there is one more language in pakistan besides urdu) almost all the time. Made me more realize how lonely I was.

But today unpredictably I met one Indonesian student right in my classroom. She was also a new student and told me that there are other 3 Indonesian students in BTH. I was quite surprised since the previous Indonesian student who came here last year didn't inform me that there are other Indonesian do I presumed that I was the only one.

I'm very happy I don't have to feel to much lonely now. The weather although it's cold won't bother much since my heating system works perfectly and I have Indonesians in Blekinge :)
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