Confused Englishman or Confused me?

Few days ago I received letter from University of Reading informing that I got accepted as a student there. Quite confusing, I thought they didn't put me in the student list since I told them that without scholarship it would be impossible for me to attend the course. And I wasn't in the scholarship list.
I felt reluctant to contact them because I thought, I already knew the answer. This afternoon I thought that it would be nice if I ask him whether the university can defer the offer till next year. Meanwhile I'll seek to secure my funding there. So I sent email to the postgraduate officer tell him that I'm gonna working on chevening this year however the fund won't be available till next year, if I get that lucky. He told me that he can make that kind of deferment. It was quite surprising, I thought it will be a strict rule for this kind of condition.
Then I asked him again what should I do to complete the deferment procedure. He said that sending him an email would be enough and when I heard some news from chevening I should contact him at once. This only applies for good news :D And he said again if I didn't get that good news than I should make completely new application for next year.
Doh, didn't I make myself clear enough in the first email. I told him clearly that the funds available next year and that only happens if I get lucky. Does this mean that not all europeans are smart so there'll be no different between them and us? I was right at the first place. I already knew the answer :D Well then I know one thing for sure that this one has to go as well. So bye bye Reading....

How long u gonna hold on?

Yesterday I met a senior of mine. he's an alumni originated from the same town like mine. One of my lecturer thought it was quite odd for me not knowing him. Well u can't expect me to know all of them. There's lots of us and dispersed all over Bandung.
He's going to Qatar for a new position in one of the oil company there. The salary he earned and he's gonna get in Qatar was quite alluring. A young man with 6 years experiences in oil service does make a difference. We did a long chat accompanied by one of the lecturer from IF. She is one of us too.
After lunch he told what happened after he graduated. He worked at astragraphia and then accepted at Schlumberger. He's married man with 2 children. He told me about life he was planning and the life he's willing to achieve. He asked himself few moments after graduated. How long I'm gonna live my life like this? Having a house, a car and financial safety for the family are the goals. He's right. This adventurous life has to end someday. Time is prescious at the moment. Each day could mean an opportunity.
Writing research proposal, applying for alternative job, but still working on the indefinite product will be carried more seriously. Focus on my future and try not to make mistakes.

Family's Challenge

Last week I visited a friend's daughter in a hospital. She was ill. It wasn't light disease after all. It was very sad what happened to my friend and his family. She was less than 2 months old, yet she had to carry that pain. On that moment too my other friend also told me that his son also must carry out a surgery. Whatta a life.
By looking at my friend and his wife, gave me strength and also fear at the same. Why's that? I couldn't imagine how hard this time for them. Especially at this rate of earning. I always thinking with my current condition, it will be difficult to have a family. Family needs lots resource to keep them secure. Family doesn't deserve to be put on jeopardy. I don't blame my friends who already married. In fact I admire their courage. These conditions gave me a valuable lesson to be grateful to what I have. My other friend told me that because I'm the youngest in my team, the pressure on me would be lighter that anyone. I can't disagree. He was right. But here I am still complaining and feel stressful.
What happened to my friends also gave me strength to run this life to the fullest. What happen to me right now is much lighter than what's happened to my friends. This feeling of depression has to disappear.
One faith that one day this whole thing would change. Everything would be much better than today. Rejected applications, uncertain future someday would be replaced by a much brighter day. And one last hope that when that day come I still have people I care.